If you ever wanted to watch a friendship die slowly — in Technicolor, no less — Hollywood or Bust is your golden ticket. This was the final ride for Dean Martin and Jerry Lewis, America’s favorite dysfunctional comedy marriage, and boy, does it show. Underneath all the crooning, pratfalls, and pastel-colored Chrysler convertibles, there’s an invisible middle finger being exchanged between the leads after every scene. It’s not the best Martin and Lewis movie, not the worst — just the awkward family Christmas dinner of their career, where the smiles don’t reach the eyes and you can practically hear the therapy sessions being scheduled off-camera.
How a Script Lost Its Dignity
Originally, Hollywood or Bust wasn’t even supposed to be about a wisecracking man-child and his grumpy lounge singer sidekick. Erna Lazarus’ original screenplay was about a down-on-her-luck ex-chorus girl and a lovable con man. Shirley Booth and Humphrey Bogart were meant to headline — a concept so odd it borders on performance art. But by the time director Frank Tashlin got his cartoonish scissors on it, the script had been forcibly retrofitted into yet another Martin and Lewis playground, complete with talking dogs and tepid Vegas gags. Lazarus kept the writing credit, probably because even she didn’t recognize her own work anymore.
To make things even more awkward, filming commenced after Dean and Jerry had already decided to break up — a fact they communicated through a solemn vow never to speak to each other off-camera. That’s right: the entire film was made with the leads communicating solely through acting, ad-libs, and maybe the occasional death stare. Jerry Lewis later said he never watched the film because it was too painful. Honestly, Jerry, it’s our hearts that should hurt, not yours.
Dogs, Dean, and Desperation
Dean Martin, playing the slick gambler Steve Wiley, mostly sleepwalks through the movie with the dead-eyed stare of a man who just realized his alimony payments are about to double. Jerry Lewis, playing Malcolm Smith, leans so far into the squeaky-voiced man-child persona that you almost expect him to sprout whiskers and climb back into a crib. In a plot cobbled together like leftover Christmas fruitcake, the duo win (or scam) a brand-new 1956 Chrysler New Yorker and hit the road to Hollywood, picking up Pat Crowley’s aspiring dancer along the way — because what’s a desperate road trip without a love interest to ignore?
As for Anita Ekberg, she plays herself — or rather, the fantasy version of herself as imagined by lonely teenagers and bad screenwriters. Malcolm spends the film pining for her like a boy who’s just discovered his first Playboy, and the big climax involves a dog being cast in her next movie. Yes, you read that correctly: the Great Dane gets a job offer, and it’s the most believable part of the entire movie.
Death Rattle with a Smile
When Hollywood or Bust hit theaters in December 1956, critics and audiences didn’t quite know whether to laugh or weep. It’s a perfectly serviceable comedy — charming enough in spots, awkward as hell in others — but everyone could smell the divorce lawyers in the air. Ironically, the film’s title ended up being a cruel little prophecy for the team itself: it was Hollywood… and then bust.
The movie does retain a weird, bittersweet afterlife. A clip of it was used in Grease (1978) during the drive-in scene, and footage of Martin and Lewis performing on the Sands Hotel marquee made its way into The Godfather (1972). So even if the film itself isn’t exactly Citizen Kane with pratfalls, it has at least managed to photobomb two genuinely great movies — not a bad way to spend your retirement.
Looking back, Hollywood or Bust feels like the cinematic equivalent of a broken engagement photo: everyone’s smiling, but you just know someone’s hiding a suitcase behind the couch. Dean went on to Vegas crooning glory, Jerry went on to direct The Nutty Professor, and the audience? Well, we got a shiny Chrysler, a giant dog, and a front-row seat to a beautiful friendship going down in flames — all for the price of a movie ticket.
⭐️⭐️⭐️ (3/5)
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