Friday, March 28, 2025

Film: View from the Top: High Hopes, Low Altitude

There are films you forget because they were never meant to be remembered. And then there are films you remember only because you wish you could forget them. View from the Top is that rare airport cinnamon roll of a movie: bright, sticky, over-processed, and weirdly comforting in its total lack of nutritional value. It aspires to be Working Girl with wings, but ends up more like Legally Blonde’s jetlagged cousin who spent too much time in the duty-free section and mistook perfume ads for feminism.

The Road to Paris, First Class, International

Originally shot in 2001, View from the Top sat on the tarmac of Miramax for two years, because, well, 9/11 happened—and suddenly, a frothy comedy about ditzy stewardesses navigating the friendly skies felt about as tasteful as a stand-up routine at an airport security checkpoint. The studio delayed it, then delayed it again, slicing out cameos from Robert Stack and Regis Philbin, editing out a training montage about handling terrorists (with Mike Myers no less), and trimming every sharp edge until the film resembled a plastic fork at an in-flight meal.

The script started as a plucky spec by Eric Wald, blessed by the hand of Brad Grey, then waterboarded with rewrites by Cruel Intentions auteur Roger Kumble. It was supposed to be an aspirational comedy about escaping your roots. Instead, it’s a museum exhibit of 2003: lip gloss, LeAnn Rimes, Chanel, and characters still calling flight attendants “stewardesses” without irony.

Barbie, Bitch, and the Burnout

Gwyneth Paltrow, right before becoming Hollywood’s most expensive yoga mat, plays Donna Jensen—Big Lots cashier turned mile-high Cinderella. Her performance teeters between sincere and Xanaxed, as if she’s trying to transcend the material by sheer force of cheekbone. Christina Applegate, ever the professional, somehow sells her role as the competitive, petty blonde villain Christine Montgomery like she’s auditioning for Mean Girls: The Prequel.

Then there’s Mike Myers, whose character is inexplicably cross-eyed, and whose office decor includes
real-life celebrities with ocular issues—because when in doubt, make the joke about someone else’s eye socket. Add in Candice Bergen as a Vogue-spawned Yoda of sky service, Mark Ruffalo doing his best “nice guy from Cleveland” impression, and Kelly Preston stuck in what might be the most thankless sidekick role since Robin held Batman’s cape. It’s a packed cast that feels like a cocktail party where nobody knows why they’re there.

Plot-wise, it’s a strange cocktail of makeover montage, sabotage thriller, and rom-com checklist, all stitched together with scenes that could double as promotional videos for Delta’s lost-and-found department. You can practically hear the studio notes in every frame: “Make her sassier. Now make her softer. Now put her in Chanel.”

Turbulence and Touchdowns

When View from the Top finally crash-landed in theaters in 2003, it made a respectable thud at the box office, grossing $19 million on a $30 million budget. Not a total disaster, but not exactly Catch Me If You Can. Critics circled like vultures in coach class. Rotten Tomatoes gave it 14%, which seems generous if you’ve ever had to sit through the Paris scene without wincing. Gwyneth Paltrow later called it “the worst movie ever”—which is rich, considering she also made Mortdecai.

And yet, like the fake cheese in a prepackaged airline meal, the film refuses to die. British comic Richard Ayoade turned its failure into philosophical comedy gold with Ayoade on Top, an entire book-length meditation on why this pastel, polyester disaster might actually be a misunderstood capitalist parable. Somehow, by being so bad, the film became oddly bulletproof.

It also landed on the comedy podcast How Did This Get Made, where it was dissected like a glamorized instructional video from 1998. Watching it now is like opening a time capsule labeled “Early 2000s White Women in Crisis: A Study.” It’s not good. It’s not bad. It’s…a SkyMall catalog in cinematic form.

Final Descent

Ultimately, View from the Top is like turbulence on a red-eye flight—you don’t enjoy it, but you’ll probably live through it. It’s candy-colored nonsense dressed up as empowerment, with just enough charm and absurdity to justify a hate-watch. You won’t remember it tomorrow, but you’ll hum LeAnn Rimes’ “Suddenly” in the shower and wonder what the hell just happened.

⭐️⭐️⭐️ (3/5)

#FlyingTooCloseToMediocrity #MileHighMediocre #GwynethInPastels #ChristinaApplegateWasRobbed #MikeMyersWhy #AyoadeOnTopIsBetter #ViewFromTheMiddle #ThreeStarsBecauseICouldn’tLookAway




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