Sunday, March 30, 2025

Film: The Ultimate Warrior (1975): Yul Brynner Saves What’s Left of the World, in Leather Pants


Somewhere between Mad Max and Soylent Green, there was Yul Brynner, shirt open to the navel, slicing through New York’s post-pandemic wasteland with the solemn grace of a man who once played a robot cowboy and figured that gig had too much dialogue. The Ultimate Warrior is a film that stares down the apocalypse and says, “Sure, we’ll fight gangs and save seeds, but can we do it under budget and in two sound stages?” It’s not a good movie. But it’s not a bad one, either. It’s like dehydrated beef stew: not gourmet, but if civilization collapses, you’ll be glad it’s there.

All Roads Lead to Burbank

Let’s rewind to the early ‘70s: America had Watergate, gas shortages, and the persistent fear that the Earth would either freeze over, burn up, or be overrun by karate-wielding zombies. Enter Robert Clouse, best known for making Enter the Dragon with Bruce Lee, and a penchant for making movies on a shoestring budget held together with duct tape and misplaced optimism. The Ultimate Warrior was originally titled The Barony, which sounds less like a dystopian nightmare and more like a PBS miniseries about depressed nobles.

This film was part of a proposed three-picture deal that would’ve starred Bruce Lee and George Lazenby. Imagine that: Bruce Lee fighting for tomatoes in a crumbling Manhattan. But then fate pulled the rug—or the nunchucks—when Lee tragically died before Enter the Dragon even premiered. So the film went into production purgatory, eventually clawing its way back with Yul Brynner in the lead, a recasting that’s one part inspired, one part desperate, and all parts bald.

Bald Is the New Apocalypse

Yul Brynner as Carson is what happens when a pharaoh, a gunslinger, and a knife salesman from QVC collide in a wind tunnel. He’s hired by Max von Sydow’s “Baron” to defend a compound of hippie survivalists in the ruined belly of New York, circa 2012. Of course, 2012 came and went without warlords named “Carrot” raiding Madison Avenue, but this movie wasn’t shooting for prophecy—it was shooting for gritty desperation and got at least halfway there.


Max von Sydow, usually seen pondering death on a beach in a Bergman film, here grumbles about seeds and dystopian real estate with more gravitas than the screenplay deserves. Fun fact: he was only 11 years older than Joanna Miles, who plays his daughter. But hey, it’s the apocalypse—things age faster. As for William Smith’s gang leader “Carrot,” he looks like he lost a knife fight with a bottle of carrot juice and came back for revenge. He’s got the name of a Looney Tunes villain and the voice of a man who’s gargled gravel for breakfast.

Filmed entirely on the Warner Bros. backlot and MGM sound stages, this movie features zero location shooting and the single most impressive subway set ever built for a film that spent its matte painting budget on Brynner’s leather boots. If you enjoy dim lighting, corridors, and people solemnly handing over pouches of seeds like they’re gold bullion, this is your Citizen Kane.

Cult Classic or Cult Curiosity?

Upon release, The Ultimate Warrior didn’t exactly set the box office on fire, but it quietly made $9 million on a budget of under $1 million—a ratio that would make any modern Hollywood exec pass out from envy. Critics were mixed, with most praising Brynner’s screen presence and ignoring everything else, like someone admiring the hood ornament of a burning car.

The film was resurrected on DVD in 2008 in a Best Buy double feature with Battle Beneath the Earth, which is kind of like pairing a warm beer with a stale hotdog and selling it as a vintage meal deal. But the film has since found its audience—those who enjoy dusty sci-fi relics, low-budget post-apocalyptic visions, and the comforting sight of Yul Brynner surgically eliminating bad guys while rarely breaking a sweat.

It’s not quite The Road Warrior, and it certainly isn’t Children of Men, but The Ultimate Warrior is a weirdly charming artifact of ‘70s grit, grim survivalist fantasies, and cinematic thrift. It doesn’t ask much of you, except maybe to believe that the future of humanity depends on some seeds, a subway tunnel, and a man whose entire wardrobe could fit in a Ziploc bag.

Come for the Apocalypse, Stay for the Attitude

This is the kind of film that inspires you to hoard canned goods, learn knife skills, and maybe stockpile some heirloom seeds—just in case. It’s clunky, dated, and more than a little ridiculous. But you know what? So are a lot of things that outlive their moment and somehow get better with time. Yul Brynner doesn’t save the world, but he walks away like he did—and sometimes, that’s enough.

⭐️⭐️⭐️ (3/5)

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