There’s a certain magic to bad movies. Sometimes they’re so inept they loop back around to brilliance (Plan 9 from Outer Space). Other times they’re just unintentionally hilarious (Troll 2). And then there’s The Mutations—a film that somehow manages to be both boring and grotesque, like a biology class experiment left out in the sun too long. Directed by Jack Cardiff—who was a far better cinematographer than filmmaker—this 1974 monstrosity is equal parts Freaks (1932), Frankenstein, and Little Shop of Horrors, only with none of the wit, suspense, or charm. It’s a cinematic mutation in its own right: part horror, part sci-fi, all bad decisions.
The Fine Art of Bad Ideas
If The Mutations sounds like the product of a fever dream, that’s because it basically was. Inspired by Tod Browning’s Freaks but with a “scientific” twist, the film tries to marry mad scientist horror with exploitation grotesquery. The result? A clumsy, lurching mutant of a movie that has no idea what it’s trying to be. Screenwriter Robert D. Weinbach originally intended the script to take place in Ireland, which would’ve made about as much sense as setting Jaws in a desert. It was also meant to star Vincent Price as Professor Nolter, but his agent noped out so hard that Donald Pleasence was brought in instead.
Jack Cardiff, a legendary cinematographer (The Red Shoes, Black Narcissus), directed this film, presumably as a dare or after losing a bet. Despite his skill behind the camera, the film’s direction is as lifeless as its human-plant hybrids. The production was plagued with issues, including the untimely death of actor Michael Dunn, who at least had the decency to finish all his scenes before shuffling off this mortal coil. Cardiff’s career as a director ended with this film, which is either a tragedy or an act of mercy.
From Shakespeare to Sideshow
Speaking of casting, Tom Baker—yes, Doctor Who himself—plays a circus owner named Lynch, a guy so cruel even Charles Dickens would’ve told him to tone it down. Lynch collects the failed experiments of Nolter, played by Donald Pleasence, who looks like he’s constantly regretting signing onto this project. Pleasence, known for playing the unhinged Dr. Loomis in Halloween, takes a different route here, underplaying Nolter to the point where he seems vaguely sedated. It was his idea to play the role in a “low-key” manner, which is great if you’re, say, narrating an audiobook, but not so much when you’re playing a mad scientist trying to crossbreed humans with plants.
The plot itself is best described as “science fiction” in the same way a 3rd grader’s volcano diorama is “geology.” Professor Nolter kidnaps his own students to turn them into human-plant hybrids using a pseudo-scientific mishmash of words that sound smart but mean nothing. The failed mutants are then dumped into Lynch’s freak show, because if you’re going to commit crimes against humanity, you might as well monetize them. Eventually, the circus performers get fed up with their treatment and revolt, which should be a triumphant moment, but by that point, you’ll be too exhausted to care.
A Carnival of Criticism
Critics, never ones to ignore a good cinematic car crash, had a field day with The Mutations. The Monthly Film Bulletin dismissed it as “bad science fiction” (correct), a mix of Frankenstein and Freaks that lacked cinematic substance (also correct). Leonard Maltin threw it 2 out of 4 stars, which is generous given that the film barely functions as a coherent narrative. TV Guide, never one to pull punches, gave it 1/5 stars, calling it “cruel” and unintentionally funny—like a failed clown act at a child’s birthday party.
And yet, despite the critical lashing, The Mutations has carved out a small but dedicated fan base among lovers of cinematic oddities. Michael H. Price of the Fort Worth Star-Telegram actually gave it 3 stars, comparing it to Freaksand praising its grotesque but fascinating special effects. It even received multiple DVD releases, which is proof that nostalgia and morbid curiosity will always have a market.
A Beautiful Disaster? Not Quite.
At the end of the day, The Mutations is neither the worst film ever made nor an underrated classic. It’s an uncomfortable mess of a movie, occasionally amusing, frequently baffling, and never quite compelling enough to justify its existence. If you enjoy bizarre, low-budget horror with the occasional unintentionally hilarious moment, you might find something to appreciate here. Otherwise, it’s best left as a cautionary tale about what happens when you take inspiration from Freaks without understanding what made it work.
⭐️⭐️ (2/5)
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